Copper Tones and Highlight Tips – A New Year’s Eve Special

Copper tones in a plait of the cyclists hair that fell down her left shoulder. I thought it looked lush. The hair gleamed and it was really me. Then I realised that I could still plait my hair, despite being cut a few days ago, it was still really long and I do wear my hair down my left side quite a bit these days in a ponytail. My hair also has copper tones as well. Despite having some aspirations to the cyclist photo on Instagram, I was already in that place – from time to time. I find a cycle helmet tends to negate what feminity that I do have, but may be that’s something I can work on. They say it’s in the eyes.

New year’s eve does bring out the aspirational thoughts and to some extent so did Christmas but this photo made me realise not what I wanted but what I already have and what I can continue to do. Much like most years I don’t have pure hard resolutions I have re-affirmations of what I currently do. Will I continue them and will I make an extra effort. Is there anything else new I would like to do; I guess that would be the nearest thing to a resolution.

I don’t feel like I’ve given it enough thought though so far. May be it will come as the night draws on and residential fireworks start to go off sporadically through the damp evening. There are a few things though. Getting my exercise routine back that has been interrupted by colds and injury. Getting those blonde tints on the end of my hair or may be a balayage to the tips.

I’ve not decided on which yet. I noticed a woman on the tube train in London in the summer with a few dashes on the ends of her ponytail which I really liked. It wasn’t a full balayage, just a hint, a vibrant hint like nail varnish on fingernails. Then I saw a balayage when looking on the internet for examples and that looked amazing.

I discussed it with my Mum at the time and again some months later when I’d let the idea slide for too long. She said she’d do it for me but given how busy things have been the last few months I’ve still not got around to committing to it. I think, on top of the copper-ish colour tones I already put in every several weeks or so when those odd long greys need topping up, that these highlights on the end would give me that extra bit of sparkle that I feel I need. A slippery slope I’m sure but certainly something that the new year magic can help with.

With all the work from home that appears to be a permanent thing, walks and cafe time are a bit few and far between. Until last week I’d not really had a chance to just sit in a cafe on my own and take in life. That day I sat in the cafe actually watching life go by and getting some writing done made me realise how I had missed life itself. Somehow I need to do something that will give me time to do it. Whether it be something I occupy my time with on some weekends or if I make time around my work schedule to have that time to myself, almost earmarked out, I don’t know, but that certainly is something I miss that I need to do.

I went into a mini-market in the town today just to get a couple of things I was missing for when I return home after new years day. I queued for a few minutes and then the man in the front of the queue let someone through before him and then let me through as he was waiting for someone to bring him something he’d forgotten. I waited for the till to become free but then realised the other till in the shadows of the dull florescent light had a member of staff standing there. I caught her eye, “I’m sorry.” I said, “I didn’t see you there.” She had nice long hair and feminine eye browse and a covid mask hiding the rest of her twenty-something face away.

She didn’t say much. She seemed extremely shy and served me but I knew she was trans. May be new–trans, you know what I mean. Recently–RLT–name–probably–changed kind of new to it. It was just one of those things that I guess we just know between us but she was more than capable of passing. I thanked her and took my items and she thanked me back with a quiet voice as I left.

I thought for a moment how she need not be so quiet because she could ace it but then I soon realised that she was already acing it – I’d be totally terrified I think in such a public role. It kind of brought back to me that even though my state of daily dress that’s somewhere in between with plenty of dead giveaways that it’s also been many years since I’ve been out unmistakably presenting as female. You know, those vital things that leave no doubt what I want people to think I am or at the very least what I want them to think.

So may be that’s an important thing for twenty twenty–two. Pushing that boundary a little more than things I get away with or more realistically what I think I’m getting away with but in reality is more giveaway than I realise.

There are lots of things like that though that I must try to reach my back and pat it when I think of the red leggings with white sides I bought for running in November and the blue ones I bought inDecember, also with white sides but the dash design are in pastel pink. The rose gold laptop I’ve purchased replacing the twelve year old silver one that all of my writing had been done on. The fitness watch that I want to get soon that I imagine in white with rose gold edging and a more petite watch face – I think you get the pattern here.

I’m finding styles that aren’t just feminine for the sake of being feminine but because I actually like them. Things that I use and wear that make me feel so good. I also need to take more care of my hair too. I brush it every day and usually at night too but sometimes I feel I should be straightening it more often so it looks smoother or possibly use a soft spray that might be less damaging than constant heating all the time. I always feel so much better when my hair looks smoother and neater. Especially when it’s down and the wind catches it and I feel it rustle through my head.

It might all seem like frivolous stuff, and to some extent much of it is, but I’ve been thinking of too many serious things of late that involve worrying about other people than myself, worrying about finances rather than letting a little leak from time to time and worrying about my future and any possibly future relationship.

I wish you a very happy new year and thank you for reading. I wish you the very best.

Until next year,

Hannah x

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